The Love of a child...

My parents, (Miller's Nana & Grandpa Cliff), came to town to help me with a bunch of home improvement projects that have been on the dockit for several months. Since I had Miller, I've only been able to do short term projects because I don't have a lot of time between his naps!

Mom & Lee got to Durham on Sunday afternoon - we went to Lowe's right away (which was Miller's first trip I'm just realizing?) to gather all of our needed "supplies". We went to work first thing on Monday morning. Lee was really helpful! He backed his truck up to my flower beds and popped out the 4 overgrown & 1/2 dead boxwood shrubs. Then he moved inside to plumbing duty - changing out the old toilet parts, replacing them and he also adjusted a bunch of window clasps for us that weren't functioning properly.

Mom dug holes and helped me situate where my new plants/bushes should go. The hole digging - yeah, that was SERIOUSLY hard work! We are talking RED CAROLINA CLAY, people! Its no joke! (She definitely got the raw end of the deal!!! Sorry, mom!)

But the most important goal of their visit was to get in some fun "Miller time"!! Basically they were "paid" in the form of smiles and cute tongue clicks by one sweet little boy! ;o) They didn't want money... they wanted to love on him! ;o)

Today was one of those days when I wished that my family lived closer. These little projects didnt take a LOT of time, but I felt like they were getting done the RIGHT WAY, by people that love me. I really felt LOVED today - not only because the "projects" were getting done, but mostly because Miller was "cooed over, laughed at, snuggled & kissed" - there is something REALLLLY special about your child being loved on by your parents. Its something that can't be bought or sold!

I was really grateful today... for my baby. for working hard. for being raised TO work hard. for having parents that were willing to leave their OWN "projects" to come and help ME with MINE!... but mostly because they wanted to come here to love on my sweet boy!

I'm hoping I didn't scare them off, given I'm already working on the Phase II Home Improvement list... because I know one little boy that needs to spend more time with them!

It was a good day. I hope the next visit gets on the books really soon!

Thanks Mom & Lee!

xoxo

An unexpected "melt down"...

(My all time favorite picture of Mack. He was "showing me his muscles"...

notice the jugular on the side of his neck - CRACKS. ME. UP.~)

This weekend Mack is having his birthday party with his friends from school.
Apparently, the kid is popular b/c ALL the kids he invited are coming!

… And. He. Is. Pumped.

Last night, I asked him to name off some of the kids that were coming to the party.
Fair enough, right??

Mack & Molly (at the same time) excitingly proclaimed: “GABBY!”

I looked at Mack, he had a quick, yet shy smile on his face.
I looked at Molly and her eyebrows were raised in a veryyyyy mischievious fashion?? (hummm, never good!)
I quickly looked back at Mack…

the smile had faded; a look of UTTER embarrassment had appeared…

THENNNN ~ out of NO Where lo and behold...
SCREAMING, CRYING, and RUNNING in the other direction ensued????

Me: Confused? Puzzled? Waiting for someone to help me "bridge the gap?"

Thinking to self: Can I get a little help here???? What in the CRAP just happened???

While playing the scenario back in my head,

Mack’s crazy TEMPER TANTRUM in the living room had gotten LOUDER

and at this point is COMPLETE w/ flailing arms, kicking legs, and foaming mouth???

(And lucky for us… there was “no assembly required”!!!)


…Insert: Light bulb

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, YES!!! Gabbbyyyyyyyyy! The “infamous” C.R.U.S.H!….


PEOPLE, Mack is 7 years OLD!… S.E.VVVVV.E.NNNNNN….

If he thought THAT little scenario was bad????
Oh, JUST WAITTTT until little Miss Gabby prances her pretty little self

into our house come PROM time when he’s 17!

… Insert: evil laugh --- Muuuuhaaa haaaa haaaaa!

He hasn’t even SEEEEEN embarrassment yet!!!! :-)


Reason # 2,839 to have kids:

THE OVER-REACTING “EMBARASSMENT” FACTOR!

…Priceless!

Accountability and Michelle…

( E*, Uncle Ronnie, and Michelle)

We need people in our lives that will be honest with us & give us the “truth” in love.
Someone who has nothing to lose when the "truth" is spoken!

My sister, Michelle has become one of those people in my life. While we haven’t always been close (which was mostly my fault), I’d say that over the past 2 years we have both grown a great deal. She has gone through several experiences that have molded her into an incredible woman.

Given our “life story” and as the oldest sibling, I’ve always found it very hard to be Michelle’s “sister”. I’ve always been more authoritative, maternal, and “careful” around her.

I’ll never forget the time that she begged me to “just be her SISTER” and not her “MOM” – I was 24, she was 20. Honestly, if she had picked up a 2x4 and smacked me square in the nose I wouldn’t have been more shocked. I’d never thought of my relationship w/ her to be “motherly” instead, in my mind, I was very “SISTERLY” – so “sisterly” in fact, I prided myself on how G.O.O.D. A “SISTER” I WASSSS!

Her words have rung loudly in my head more than I care to admit. Yet, mostly what I remember the most, were the warm tears streaming down my face. Its like she called me out – she had nothing to lose - rather, on the contrary – she had MORE to GAIN by telling me the truth. After she said those words, I felt released from the maternal role, but at the same time, I was scared b/c that meant that my “purpose” had drastically changed regarding our relationship.

Lately, she and I had a heart to heart - that on a deep level we both REALLY needed. After talking to her for hours, I remember hanging up the phone and realizing that our relationship had just changed forever.

Redefining my relationship with Michelle has been VERY hard for me. I’ve been so torn with trying to be something different to and FOR her after 20+ years of being “motherly” that I’ve wrestled with my new “ROLE”… and mostly, b/c I’ve gone from “protecting” and “helping” to TRYING to be a “Cool”, “put together”, and “a good example”…
basically – ALL the things I’m NOT!

I. People, I’m not cool – I’m a dork. I’m VERY dorky to be exact! I do cheers from circa 1-9-9-3 in my kitchen if someone says the word “Aggressive” (BE. AGGRESSIVE, BE. aggressive, B.E. A.gg.R.E.ss. I. V. E.) – see?, I love the circus and I blog about it – news flash: I’m 30!, I giggle at the kids’ potty jokes – and I often times ask them to reapeat them!, my closet is organized by COLOR!... Seriously, the list is endless. I’m a dork – just trust me.

II. “PUT TOGETHER” – PAAAA. LEEEASE!!!!!!!!!! I may “seem” put together – but that’s only because I rolled down ALL the windows in the car, visualized myself as Tom Cruz and SANG “Free Fallin” VERY loudly in my car before pulling up to the door of some really “important” meeting where I’m supposed to “look” PUT TOGETHER! -- 10 minutes prior to this endeavor I was standing in front of my color coordinated closet crying b/c I didn’t have “ANYTHINGGGG to WEARRRRRR”… “Put together” I am NOT!.

III. “A good example” – Now, I do(!) want to be a good example... But I need to be honest here – there are “moments” when I lose it (see the paragraph about being “put together”) and on occasion, have been known to have road rage “episodes”, I’ve said a “few” unpleasant things “under my breathe”, and I’ve “shared” something about someone that I didn’t know to be “the TRUTH” (they call it “GOSSIP” in some towns?)…
Friends, This category is a SERIOUS work in progress for me!

Bascially, I’ve TRIED to be less than human when it comes to who I want my sister to
“THINK I AM” instead of “WHO I ACTUALLY AM!”

A month ago, I called my sister when I was broken, real,
and in need of someone to speak the “TRUTH” in LOVE!….

And you know what??… she answered the call!
She told me some things about myself that I reallyyyy needed to hear….
She. had. nothing. to. lose.!

And for that – I’m really grateful!

I LOVE YOU SHELL!


Who in your life holds you accountable to a lifestyle of integrity?
Truthfulness? And making the BEST choices?

The GREATEST show on EARTH...

FACT: I am guilty of making my husband take me to the circus once WITHOUT the children… and he “happily” obliged - (however, there was a rolling of the eyes!)

Wholeheartedly, I WILL admit it: I HEART the CIRCUS!

Fortunately, the circus comes to town around the first weekend or so of February every year! And GUESS who has a birthday around SAID 1st weekend of February?... Nope, its not me!

However, one little guy named Mack DOES!!!

Lucky for our family, my Mother-In-Law, Joanne, ALSO enjoys the circus (YET, another reason to LOVE the woman!!). Last year she treated the whole family to the circus for Mack’s birthday! And guess who is coming to town and taking us again today????? Yep, my very generous M-I-L, JOANNE – affectionately known as “Granny” by M&M... and at times have also been known to call her "JoJo Circus"! -- (which I think is hilarious!)

Now, let me clarify, I’m NOT(!) a fan of clowns – (Stephen King’s “It” did me in on those "happy" characters long ago!). But what I DO love about the circus is the talent and athleticism of the acrobats, the awesome animals (back off PETA!), the joy on the childrens’ faces, and ULTIMATELY, the $25 cotton candy and the $30 snowcones!! (Generally, we have to get one of each and share b/c they are so(!) stinkin' expensive!)

FACT: John and I had cotton candy AND snow cones at our wedding reception!! (guess who insisted on that little "bonus" treat?? ... I'll give you some time to think about it!)

I’m so glad that Mack has a bday JUST in the 'NICK OF TIME' for the ole’ CIRCUS! But let me just say that even if his bday wasn't around this time of year and I had to go all by myself, I would!! (without giving it even a second thought!)

FACT: I’m just a big kid stuck in an adult persons body!

Fo’ real people… I can’t tell you how excited I am about heading to the circus this afternoon for the Lions, and tigers, and Bears ...and did I mention COTTON CANDY AND SNOWCONES???

OH MY! :-)

John's LOVE for Zayleigh...

Back in Sept/Oct when I went on my mission trip to Africa, John took care of Zayleigh.

Now because Zayleigh wasn't "necessarily" his favorite "fixture" in our home at the time, I was a little worried about leaving her with him for 14 days.

Friends, John has a 3rd degree black belt in Kenpo karate. He has had big dogs his whole life. For my husband to take care of this 7 lb - loud mouthed - barely potty trained - ball of fur was his ULITMATE gift of love to me!

This weekend I heard a funny story about Zayleigh when she was in her "daddy's" care.

Apparently, John was walking Zayleigh after work one day (still in a suit and tie) when this man with a HUGE dog comes running towards them. Of coarse, Zayleigh (in all of her gusto) starts barking like the bulldog she thinks she is - MUCH to John's dismay!

Subconsciously, John had already jumped into a bush and was trying to "pretend" this whole scenario wasn't happening!

Feeling the pressure of trying to get Zayleigh to shut up and realizing how ridiculous he must have looked fighting with this "7 lb BARKING FUR BALL"

my husband reacted like an individual with touretts syndrome...

He turned towards the runner and BLURTED OUT with the same gusto as the 7lb barking fur

THIS BOLD PROCLAIMATION:

"THIS IS MY WIFES DOG!!!!"

The guy just gave him a weird look and kept running.

That's right people, that's myyyyyy DAWWWWGGGG!

Zayleigh, YES!?! But I'm talkin' about John!

He is myyyyy Dawwwgggg!

:-)

Boundaries 101...

My husband told me something several years ago that I have

replayed over and over again in my mind.
He said: Healthy people establish and maintain boundaries in ALL relationships!

The older I get, the more I want to be known as a healthy, stable person. And the more I live and love on others, the more I agree with my husbands statement.

In order for me to be a healthy, stable person, I need to have healthy relationships with the people in my life.

Recently, I established some very structured and well defined boundaries with a person in my life that (at times) has caused me and my marriage pain and heartache. Unfortunately, I’ve found that when this one “unhealthy” relationship isn’t going particularly “well”, it causes my relationships with others (at times) to be less than “healthy” too!

I have prayed, I have fasted, and I have prayed some more about this – but after constantly feeling run over, taken advantage of, and often times just flat out angry, I feel like the time has come to set firm boundaries in place.

Last night in my quiet time, I prayed about how those boundaries were established and about the maintenance of those boundaries going forward. During my time with the Lord, I was reminded of my role as the wife and mother of my household.

God led me to Proverbs 31 – Verses 26-27:

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

The more I meditated over these verses, the more I felt like God was releasing me from maintaining this particular relationship without boundaries. Given the nature of this “unhealthy” relationship, I have often times lost sight of God’s call on my life as the wife and mother of my home.

The Word says that MY(!) JOB is to speak wisdom with faithful instructions on my tongue (not rude or ugly things about others) AND that I need to be using MY(!) energies to watch over the affairs of MY(!) household - NOT(!) sitting idly worrying about a relationship with someone that isn’t set up to be “healthy” anyway??? (Regretfully, I have done this for wayyyyyy too many hours, months, and years to count!)

For the sake of me and my household, boundaries are a NECESSITY(!) in order to be the healthy and stable woman that ultimately God has Willed for my life!

Honestly, I should have set up these boundaries long ago – my feelings of heartache, bitterness, and feeling defeated shouldn’t have gotten to the levels that they did. But today, I’m HAPPY(!) because I feel like I finally did the right thing! And in my heart, its better late than never because I’m ready to continue my journey in striving for the Proverbs 31 wife and mother!

Two of my New Years resolutions were to “recognize my patterns” and to “choose not to take things personally”. I believe that by establishing these boundaries I’m well on my way to fulfilling these goals!

SOoOoOoO:
Yay GOD! Yay ME! Yay for BOUNDARIES! Yay for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!!
And ultimately, YAAAYYYY for the wisdom of my rockin’ (and very handsome) HUSBAND!!!!!!

ANNNNDDDD on a very, "side" note: I’m having a fabulous hair day!

:-) Ohhhh Lucky me!

New Years Resolutions...

Every year John and I get together and "discuss" our resolutions. He writes mine down and I write down his... its a great way to hold each other accountable. Listening to him tell me all 20(!) of his resolutions and after picking up my chin from the table, the only thing I could say was, "Easyyyyy CAPTAIN PLANET???"

Good GRIEF -- 20 resolutions! (that I actually DO hope he fulfills - there were some good ones on his list!)

I have a whopping grand total of 10... and of coarse, he made me read mine first so I couldn't "add lib" anything at the end! (Typical!) Now, understand that these resolutions aren't about weight (generally!), or climbing Mt. Everest, or exercising more... They are more like little goals for ourselves...

I'll give you a few of mine:

• Get all birthday cards/gifts in the mail PRIOR to persons birthday! (not everyone celebrates the WHOLE MONTH of their birth like me, I need to stop using that as an excuse!)
• Recognize my patterns.
• Travel after April 15th to somewhere I've never been before (friends from far away that would like a visitor for 4+ days CALL ME!) :-)
• Choose not to take things personally.
• Work on my photography - take more classes, books, find mentor, etc.

So, its January 4th and I've already got 4 birthday presents for loved ones! I'm quite pumped about it frankly... I think I MAY be able to pull resolution #1 off!

John has already started knocking several of his out too... I'm hopeful that we wont lose momentum... I'll have to keep you posted....

Until then, I'm looking for a Captain Planet cape for Christmas of '09 for a "special someone" in my life!!!!

Game Nights...

Last Wednesday night, we had a theme night that I called "Game Night." We picked out the game Pictureka to play as a family - my fabulous sister, Michelle gave it to the kids for Christmas. (Insert commercial music segment here.) This game is SO MUCH FUN... Even John and I enjoyed playing it with the kids - and would likely play it even if the kids weren't around. Everyone was laughing throughout the game. Basically, the player has to find a "picture" (or 4 or 5 or 6 depending on the number you rolled) on the game board before time runs out. Think Where's Waldo but with a competitive edge... And we alllll know how I can get when it comes to being competitive!? Sigh!

We have a lot of games - Truth or Dare Jenga, Scattergories, Mexican Train Dominoes, Clue, Scrabble, and my very favorite Balderdash!

Last night, we went over to our neighbors house with a dear friend, Pam (who came over within 30 mins of me asking her - I love people like that... AND she came over in her PJ's... Again, PEOPLE LIKE THAT = LOVE!... I digress). We ordered pizza, wings, and drank wine while playing Balderdash. I mean, really? A Sat night w/ friends in pj's, throw in some pizza, wings, and wine - a splash of Balderdash and trash talkin' and... in my opinion you got HEAVEN...

So... The question I'm pondering tonight - Why don't we do that MORE OFTEN? It's cheap, it's fun, it's an opportunity to grow relationally with the people that we love... all while talkin' trash in a little "friendly" game of Balderdash? HELLO?????? Is this thing on?

GAME NIGHTS = FABULOUS FUN!
Who's in for another night of "friendly relational competitiveness"?

:-)

Publish Post

Kids say the darn'dest things!

Molly is a really funny kid... She's constantly cracking me up. At times shes like a 30 year old trapped in a 9 year old body. (Which means that I can relate to her more often than not? HA!)

On Tuesday night, one of John's clients brought their kids. Their boys are around the same age - which is really nice b/c most of our friends' kids are much younger.

At the Christmas party, all the kids wanted to go outside and run around - so they did. Mack and Nicholas are convinced that they are NEW best friends and Molly and Sean chased each other for about 40 mins (true love in the making!). KIDDDDDDING, I hope!!!

According to Sean's mom, Molly outran him in tag. Sean has profusely requested a rematch. But the funniest part was what Molly said after they left...

Me: Molly, did you have fun playing w/ Nicholas and Sean.

Molly: Yes!

Me: Looks like you were playing chase?

Molly: Yep! I may not be the fastest, but he IS going to have to CHASE ME!

Me: With the look of a deer in headlights, I drop to my knee (still in the resturant) to look her in the eyes - and because I'm always trying to teach her a "life lesson"... I say ... Oh honey, PLEASSSEEEE tell me that you will remember those words when you are 16!!

Molly: Good GRIEF, it was JUST a game of TAG?????????


Oh, how the thought of the teenage years are terrifying to me!!!! TERRIFYYYYYINGGGG TO ME, I SAY!!!!

A momma's many hats...

Last night my husband had a fabulous Christmas party for his clients and those that he networks with in the community. Can I just tell you that these people are really awesome! His clients and friends, in my opinion, reflect a lot of my husband’s goodness.

They are kind, funny, smart and outwardly generous people. They tell great stories and find ways to laugh at themselves. (I think I’ve mentioned before how I am a BIG fan of people that can find the ability to laugh at their own sillyness?! I guess misery DOES breed company??? I digress…)

On occassions like we had last night, I like to refer to myself as the "FIRST LADY" (yes, it’s a self proclaimed nickname! SO??) ...But it's true! I’m the "FIRST LADY" at these functions and I will walk right up to one of John’s clients that I haven’t met yet and announce just THAT! Because in reality, walking up to someone you've never met before that has a mouth full of food can be a little intimidating and somewhat weird… so a laugh is always up my sleeve during these kind of ackward moments! Fortunately, I love people and making them laugh makes it even MORE fun – especially when they have their mouths full – breaks the ice – QUICKLY, I might add! And, well, they never really forget me when I use that technique?... or at least, that has been what I have noticed? Haven't quiet figured out if thats good or bad, but I guess it really doesn't matter?

John had a great turnout! It was just the “right” amount of people and personalities that came together. Even our kids were there and had a blast – and they were on their “BEST” behavior. I mean it! Like, BEST BEHAVIOR EVER – It was amazing! Quite frankly, I’m still in awe over it?

However, I will say that just before getting out of the car and while slapping some fabulous shiny peppermint lip gloss on my big ole’ lips, I said a prayer regarding their behavior! I mean come ON moms!! --

You know this equation:

Clients + Nice Restaurant + Kids (could make for a) = COLLOSAL EXPLOSION…

But apparently, the combination of my prayer and the threat that their father gave them before entering the building (which I didn’t know about until they were in the bed) worked! :-) Nothing like a glorified parental tag team!!

Tonight is THEME NIGHT with the kids – we are having dinner w/ a GAME NIGHT theme… The table is decorated with games galore and the plan is to play one after we eat. But I have to admit that I’m a ‘bit’ on the competitive side… my husband actually LOATHES this about me! I mean really HATES it b/c I like to talk trash, even if I loose – and the kids are not omitted from this wonderful "characteristic" that I have! WHAT?????? It’s JUST WHO I AM PEOPLE????

Last night it was the FIRST LADY and tonight its TRASH TALKIN’ MOMMA!!! Ahhh, the many hats I wear!!! :-)