Seems like yesterday...

When I met this little guy for the first time he wasn't even 3 yet!

Today, we are celebrating his 7th birthday!

Words can't describe the sense of purpose that he and his big sister have brought to my life!

Happy, HAPPY birthday, sweet boy!

I love you soooo much!

Accountability and Michelle…

( E*, Uncle Ronnie, and Michelle)

We need people in our lives that will be honest with us & give us the “truth” in love.
Someone who has nothing to lose when the "truth" is spoken!

My sister, Michelle has become one of those people in my life. While we haven’t always been close (which was mostly my fault), I’d say that over the past 2 years we have both grown a great deal. She has gone through several experiences that have molded her into an incredible woman.

Given our “life story” and as the oldest sibling, I’ve always found it very hard to be Michelle’s “sister”. I’ve always been more authoritative, maternal, and “careful” around her.

I’ll never forget the time that she begged me to “just be her SISTER” and not her “MOM” – I was 24, she was 20. Honestly, if she had picked up a 2x4 and smacked me square in the nose I wouldn’t have been more shocked. I’d never thought of my relationship w/ her to be “motherly” instead, in my mind, I was very “SISTERLY” – so “sisterly” in fact, I prided myself on how G.O.O.D. A “SISTER” I WASSSS!

Her words have rung loudly in my head more than I care to admit. Yet, mostly what I remember the most, were the warm tears streaming down my face. Its like she called me out – she had nothing to lose - rather, on the contrary – she had MORE to GAIN by telling me the truth. After she said those words, I felt released from the maternal role, but at the same time, I was scared b/c that meant that my “purpose” had drastically changed regarding our relationship.

Lately, she and I had a heart to heart - that on a deep level we both REALLY needed. After talking to her for hours, I remember hanging up the phone and realizing that our relationship had just changed forever.

Redefining my relationship with Michelle has been VERY hard for me. I’ve been so torn with trying to be something different to and FOR her after 20+ years of being “motherly” that I’ve wrestled with my new “ROLE”… and mostly, b/c I’ve gone from “protecting” and “helping” to TRYING to be a “Cool”, “put together”, and “a good example”…
basically – ALL the things I’m NOT!

I. People, I’m not cool – I’m a dork. I’m VERY dorky to be exact! I do cheers from circa 1-9-9-3 in my kitchen if someone says the word “Aggressive” (BE. AGGRESSIVE, BE. aggressive, B.E. A.gg.R.E.ss. I. V. E.) – see?, I love the circus and I blog about it – news flash: I’m 30!, I giggle at the kids’ potty jokes – and I often times ask them to reapeat them!, my closet is organized by COLOR!... Seriously, the list is endless. I’m a dork – just trust me.

II. “PUT TOGETHER” – PAAAA. LEEEASE!!!!!!!!!! I may “seem” put together – but that’s only because I rolled down ALL the windows in the car, visualized myself as Tom Cruz and SANG “Free Fallin” VERY loudly in my car before pulling up to the door of some really “important” meeting where I’m supposed to “look” PUT TOGETHER! -- 10 minutes prior to this endeavor I was standing in front of my color coordinated closet crying b/c I didn’t have “ANYTHINGGGG to WEARRRRRR”… “Put together” I am NOT!.

III. “A good example” – Now, I do(!) want to be a good example... But I need to be honest here – there are “moments” when I lose it (see the paragraph about being “put together”) and on occasion, have been known to have road rage “episodes”, I’ve said a “few” unpleasant things “under my breathe”, and I’ve “shared” something about someone that I didn’t know to be “the TRUTH” (they call it “GOSSIP” in some towns?)…
Friends, This category is a SERIOUS work in progress for me!

Bascially, I’ve TRIED to be less than human when it comes to who I want my sister to
“THINK I AM” instead of “WHO I ACTUALLY AM!”

A month ago, I called my sister when I was broken, real,
and in need of someone to speak the “TRUTH” in LOVE!….

And you know what??… she answered the call!
She told me some things about myself that I reallyyyy needed to hear….
She. had. nothing. to. lose.!

And for that – I’m really grateful!

I LOVE YOU SHELL!


Who in your life holds you accountable to a lifestyle of integrity?
Truthfulness? And making the BEST choices?

Warmer days in a land far away...

When I think about how warm its been -

I'm reminded of the time I SAT on the equator!

...with my Friends: Rach and Mote!

The GREATEST show on EARTH...

FACT: I am guilty of making my husband take me to the circus once WITHOUT the children… and he “happily” obliged - (however, there was a rolling of the eyes!)

Wholeheartedly, I WILL admit it: I HEART the CIRCUS!

Fortunately, the circus comes to town around the first weekend or so of February every year! And GUESS who has a birthday around SAID 1st weekend of February?... Nope, its not me!

However, one little guy named Mack DOES!!!

Lucky for our family, my Mother-In-Law, Joanne, ALSO enjoys the circus (YET, another reason to LOVE the woman!!). Last year she treated the whole family to the circus for Mack’s birthday! And guess who is coming to town and taking us again today????? Yep, my very generous M-I-L, JOANNE – affectionately known as “Granny” by M&M... and at times have also been known to call her "JoJo Circus"! -- (which I think is hilarious!)

Now, let me clarify, I’m NOT(!) a fan of clowns – (Stephen King’s “It” did me in on those "happy" characters long ago!). But what I DO love about the circus is the talent and athleticism of the acrobats, the awesome animals (back off PETA!), the joy on the childrens’ faces, and ULTIMATELY, the $25 cotton candy and the $30 snowcones!! (Generally, we have to get one of each and share b/c they are so(!) stinkin' expensive!)

FACT: John and I had cotton candy AND snow cones at our wedding reception!! (guess who insisted on that little "bonus" treat?? ... I'll give you some time to think about it!)

I’m so glad that Mack has a bday JUST in the 'NICK OF TIME' for the ole’ CIRCUS! But let me just say that even if his bday wasn't around this time of year and I had to go all by myself, I would!! (without giving it even a second thought!)

FACT: I’m just a big kid stuck in an adult persons body!

Fo’ real people… I can’t tell you how excited I am about heading to the circus this afternoon for the Lions, and tigers, and Bears ...and did I mention COTTON CANDY AND SNOWCONES???

OH MY! :-)

HAPPY BDAY TO PAMMMMM....

(E*, Mote, Pam walkin' hand in hand on Kenyan soil!)

Today is my friend, Pam’s birthday!

I met Pam when she came to work at our church about a year ago. I can’t remember the date that I officially “met” her because I feel like I’ve always known her! We hit it off immediately – we’ve gone for walks, had coffee together, “interviewed” for church “broadcasts” (ha ha), played board games, laughed out loud about really dumb things (one of our favorite past times!), and spent time in Africa together!

Pam lived in Arusha, Tanzania for 2 years and had a few rather “radical” experiences there that forever changed her life. Because of those experiences, our church has an even more rock solid staff because she is on board!! She’s well traveled. She's fluent in Swahili. She's not a stranger of adversity, and yet(!), is a bold lover of Jesus…. She’s awesome! And when I get to spend time w/ my “Pam-a-lot” it makes me happy!

What I really like about our freindship is that even though we’ve only known each other for a relatively short time – I know that she will be honest with me. I’ve given her the authority to speak “truthfully” to me about decisions (good and bad) that I make – I love talking to her. There have been times when she’s spoken to me about something and I just “got it” – and I know that God has placed her in my life to make me a better person.


PAM,

you came into my life just in the “nick of time”…

I’m forever grateful that I know you and get to call you "friend"!

On this day of your birth, I hope you are still in your “jams”, eating a gluten free rice cake, slurpin’ on some coffee, and reading a book that you want to pass on to yours truly!

Love you, girl!
Xoxoxo,
E*

John's LOVE for Zayleigh...

Back in Sept/Oct when I went on my mission trip to Africa, John took care of Zayleigh.

Now because Zayleigh wasn't "necessarily" his favorite "fixture" in our home at the time, I was a little worried about leaving her with him for 14 days.

Friends, John has a 3rd degree black belt in Kenpo karate. He has had big dogs his whole life. For my husband to take care of this 7 lb - loud mouthed - barely potty trained - ball of fur was his ULITMATE gift of love to me!

This weekend I heard a funny story about Zayleigh when she was in her "daddy's" care.

Apparently, John was walking Zayleigh after work one day (still in a suit and tie) when this man with a HUGE dog comes running towards them. Of coarse, Zayleigh (in all of her gusto) starts barking like the bulldog she thinks she is - MUCH to John's dismay!

Subconsciously, John had already jumped into a bush and was trying to "pretend" this whole scenario wasn't happening!

Feeling the pressure of trying to get Zayleigh to shut up and realizing how ridiculous he must have looked fighting with this "7 lb BARKING FUR BALL"

my husband reacted like an individual with touretts syndrome...

He turned towards the runner and BLURTED OUT with the same gusto as the 7lb barking fur

THIS BOLD PROCLAIMATION:

"THIS IS MY WIFES DOG!!!!"

The guy just gave him a weird look and kept running.

That's right people, that's myyyyyy DAWWWWGGGG!

Zayleigh, YES!?! But I'm talkin' about John!

He is myyyyy Dawwwgggg!

:-)

Boundaries 101...

My husband told me something several years ago that I have

replayed over and over again in my mind.
He said: Healthy people establish and maintain boundaries in ALL relationships!

The older I get, the more I want to be known as a healthy, stable person. And the more I live and love on others, the more I agree with my husbands statement.

In order for me to be a healthy, stable person, I need to have healthy relationships with the people in my life.

Recently, I established some very structured and well defined boundaries with a person in my life that (at times) has caused me and my marriage pain and heartache. Unfortunately, I’ve found that when this one “unhealthy” relationship isn’t going particularly “well”, it causes my relationships with others (at times) to be less than “healthy” too!

I have prayed, I have fasted, and I have prayed some more about this – but after constantly feeling run over, taken advantage of, and often times just flat out angry, I feel like the time has come to set firm boundaries in place.

Last night in my quiet time, I prayed about how those boundaries were established and about the maintenance of those boundaries going forward. During my time with the Lord, I was reminded of my role as the wife and mother of my household.

God led me to Proverbs 31 – Verses 26-27:

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

The more I meditated over these verses, the more I felt like God was releasing me from maintaining this particular relationship without boundaries. Given the nature of this “unhealthy” relationship, I have often times lost sight of God’s call on my life as the wife and mother of my home.

The Word says that MY(!) JOB is to speak wisdom with faithful instructions on my tongue (not rude or ugly things about others) AND that I need to be using MY(!) energies to watch over the affairs of MY(!) household - NOT(!) sitting idly worrying about a relationship with someone that isn’t set up to be “healthy” anyway??? (Regretfully, I have done this for wayyyyyy too many hours, months, and years to count!)

For the sake of me and my household, boundaries are a NECESSITY(!) in order to be the healthy and stable woman that ultimately God has Willed for my life!

Honestly, I should have set up these boundaries long ago – my feelings of heartache, bitterness, and feeling defeated shouldn’t have gotten to the levels that they did. But today, I’m HAPPY(!) because I feel like I finally did the right thing! And in my heart, its better late than never because I’m ready to continue my journey in striving for the Proverbs 31 wife and mother!

Two of my New Years resolutions were to “recognize my patterns” and to “choose not to take things personally”. I believe that by establishing these boundaries I’m well on my way to fulfilling these goals!

SOoOoOoO:
Yay GOD! Yay ME! Yay for BOUNDARIES! Yay for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!!
And ultimately, YAAAYYYY for the wisdom of my rockin’ (and very handsome) HUSBAND!!!!!!

ANNNNDDDD on a very, "side" note: I’m having a fabulous hair day!

:-) Ohhhh Lucky me!