The Love of a child...

My parents, (Miller's Nana & Grandpa Cliff), came to town to help me with a bunch of home improvement projects that have been on the dockit for several months. Since I had Miller, I've only been able to do short term projects because I don't have a lot of time between his naps!

Mom & Lee got to Durham on Sunday afternoon - we went to Lowe's right away (which was Miller's first trip I'm just realizing?) to gather all of our needed "supplies". We went to work first thing on Monday morning. Lee was really helpful! He backed his truck up to my flower beds and popped out the 4 overgrown & 1/2 dead boxwood shrubs. Then he moved inside to plumbing duty - changing out the old toilet parts, replacing them and he also adjusted a bunch of window clasps for us that weren't functioning properly.

Mom dug holes and helped me situate where my new plants/bushes should go. The hole digging - yeah, that was SERIOUSLY hard work! We are talking RED CAROLINA CLAY, people! Its no joke! (She definitely got the raw end of the deal!!! Sorry, mom!)

But the most important goal of their visit was to get in some fun "Miller time"!! Basically they were "paid" in the form of smiles and cute tongue clicks by one sweet little boy! ;o) They didn't want money... they wanted to love on him! ;o)

Today was one of those days when I wished that my family lived closer. These little projects didnt take a LOT of time, but I felt like they were getting done the RIGHT WAY, by people that love me. I really felt LOVED today - not only because the "projects" were getting done, but mostly because Miller was "cooed over, laughed at, snuggled & kissed" - there is something REALLLLY special about your child being loved on by your parents. Its something that can't be bought or sold!

I was really grateful today... for my baby. for working hard. for being raised TO work hard. for having parents that were willing to leave their OWN "projects" to come and help ME with MINE!... but mostly because they wanted to come here to love on my sweet boy!

I'm hoping I didn't scare them off, given I'm already working on the Phase II Home Improvement list... because I know one little boy that needs to spend more time with them!

It was a good day. I hope the next visit gets on the books really soon!

Thanks Mom & Lee!

xoxo

Me* + a baby jogger = A Dream Come True

I've been running for most of my life... I ran in high school competitively and in college/my adult years mostly I've run for fun with an occassional 5k or 10k thrown in the mix.

I've always found it to be so rewarding. Running up the driveway after a hard day at school or the office, with a clearer mind, sweat on my brow and veins pumping hard. It relaxes me.

Today, April 12th, 2011 - 5 months post-Miller, I got to live out a dream.

As crazy as it sounds, I've ALWAYS visualized myself running behind a jogger stroller - with my baby in it. ALWAYS. I can almost guarantee that nearly EVERY mile that I have trekked, has some how, in my mind, played out this day. In college, before the days of "thinking too far ahead", I visualized it. Post college, living in an apartment, wondering if I'd ever get MARRIED, let alone have a BABY, I visualized it. And after 5 years of marriage, wondering WHEN we'd finally get pregnant, I visualized it.

Today, running down the trail with the wind in my hair, sweat on my brow, and my baby in his jogger stroller, I was reminded just how truly blessed my life is... how FULL my heart feels. God is so faithful! This dream, that at times seemed so silly, was a reality today -- MY REALITY!

Today, jogging with my sweet 5 month old, Miller Jameson Bahr, God reminded me of my dream... today it came true and I'm forever, FOREVER grateful!

God is so good!

John sings... AGAIN!

The other night, Molly and I were cleaning up the kitchen from dinner. John had the baby in the living room when all of a sudden, JB started singing "You are so beautiful to me" to the baby.

Now, let me begin this TALE by saying that there are MANY, M.A.N.Y. things that I love and adore about my husband... HOWEVER, his singing abilities are *ahem* NOT one of the reasons I married him.

With THAT being said... he LOVE, LOVE, LOVESSSSSS to "sing" (if you want to call it that) to the children and I for the sole purpose of us begggginggg him to S.T.O.P. His forte - Picking the kids up from school, rides to AND from church, and (his favorite) longgg road trips... (there are no means of escape!)

Ok, so back to the other night....

JB is singing, singing, singinggg to poor little Miller (who is zoning out and wishing he were back inside my belly!)...

John: Youuuuuuuu. areeee. soooooo. beautiful. to. meeeee. (high pitch). Yourrr everythingggg I've HOPEDDD forrrr (high pitch) cant you seeeeeee (scretching, blood curdling pitch).

And I said, "John, you've never sung that song to me?"

When Molly, wiping down the kitchen table in her little-witty-smirkish-almost-12-year-old-self says: "well, I guess you aren't everything he's HOPED FOR?"

We all just about LOST IT.

I snorted, acted like the adult parent that I am...

Stuck out my tongue at her and called her a BRAT!

RUDE!

3 months!

I'm sitting here looking around my house at the dirty dishes, dirty laundry, packing that I should start for our upcoming trip to VA and the other "stuff" that *NEEDS* to be done... and all I can manage to do is stare at my NOW 3 month old baby boy sleeping!

How is it that the weeks go by so quickly when I haven't slept? Its crazy how God fashions this thing called *parenthood*... The heavy belly, the labor pains, and the lack of sleep - all to be replaced with the incredible LOVE that a child brings!

Breathing in and out so slow and evenly -- its such a wonderful, beautiful thing!

This sweet child is SUCH a gift... Wow? Thank you God for entrusting him to me!

Accountability!

I meant to get on here last week and tell all of my 3(!) followers that YES, Y.E.S. indeed, I did go out and order the two savings bonds for my cousins' kids!

I can't tell you how accomplished I felt walking out of the bank with the "my copy" as proof that I had gotten that little chore done. I did it on Friday so I not ONLY accomplished my task, but I also did it within the TIME FRAME that I set for myself. Its the little things people! And its allllll about the accountability.

Now, off to worry about something else that my seriously Type A self can come up with!... Like, maybe the extra 10lbs of baby "love" that just WONT. SEEM. TO. LEAVE. MY. BODY. ;o)

Random thoughts for the day.

I really wanted to write something totally perplexing tonight - but given the sleep deprivation, I'm finding that my thoughts are in short sentence fragments.

These are some of the random thoughts that have crossed my mind today... Enjoy the randomness that follows...

I'm convinced that I'm addicted to chocolate Entennman's donuts - so much so, that our kids KNOW that if they even TOUCH the box they are in DEEP trouble! They are known as "E*s special donuts"... Confession: some days I have 2!

...Which immediately leads to THIS thought: the extra 10lbs of baby *love* that has highjacked my waistline is OVER staying its welcome!!! It really doesn't help that I crave carbs ALLLL day long? That I never feel full? or that I eat cookies like I'm 12! And NO, I'm not exaggerating. I literally baked a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies the other day JUST for myself. Its quite ridiculous. Oh, and GUESS WHAT? Its girl scout cookie time... Uggggg I will be adding an additional 10lbs to the current 10lbs of baby *love* and will basically NEVER wear a bathing suit again at this rate. *SIGH*

Another random thought: Before I had Miller, I was OBSESSED with plucking my eyebrows... it was pretty serious! (just ask my sisters!) Sitting at a stoplight was my FAVORITE time to pluck away - the lighting was/is ALWAYS perfect (trust me on this!). Welllllll, SINCE Miller's arrival - my eyebrows look like a blonde catepillar convention! This pains me!

How about THIS one: True confession: for 1.8 seconds today when I was pulling into my driveway, I *thought* about life with a minivan... EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Don't panic my faithful 3(!) blog followers! I snapped out of it at the 1.9 second mark - but WHEW! Close one! At that thought, I IMMEDIATELY ran into the house, up the stairs, threw open my cabinet, got out my tweezers and WENT. TO. TOWNNN. on THOSE hideous eyebrows for a full 20 minutes.... MUST. FIND. ELAINE. UNDER. THIS. MESS. PRONTO. SHES. LOOSING. HER. MARBLES.

(7 feet of blonde eyebrows later)

The world looks more like I remember it - and the baby seems excited (thus the photo above!) to see that his mother has eyes again! Whew... a WIN-WIN!

Things I'm wrestling with...

These are some of the thoughts that I've been wrestling with during midnight feedings...

It bothers me when people insinuate that I "just" became a mom 10 weeks ago. I've been a parent for 5.5 years - yes, it's different now, BUT I've been a "mom" for some time. I have 3 kids - not 1! I wonder if people would think the same thing if I had 2 adoptive children, and then had Miller? Wrestle.

When I say I'm going to do something, its REALLY important for me to do it - its about integrity for me. I told my cousins I was going to get their children $50 savings bonds over a year ago and I haven't done it yet... and it REALLY bothers me. I doubt they have given it any thought at all, but I beat myself up over it on a REGULAR basis. So much so, that I have a goal to get it done THIS week! (I'll keep you posted.) Wrestle.

I want to be a more generous person - like my husband and my grandmother. I want to give to people as SOON as God tells me to give them something. My goal is to be more obedient to His voice. Wrestle.

I'm so Type A that I often get lost in the "put things where they belong" mode. I think this secretly drives my husband and children crazy. In the long run, having the "stuff in its place" probably doesn't really matter? I mean, I want my house to be in some kind of good order, but more importantly(!), I want my kids to remember me as a genuinely loving parent - one that allowed for mistakes to be made and yet, fun to be shared - not a clean house freak. So what if they left their game on the table or their craft stuff out? I really want to make memories they will cherish, not rules that pester the crap out of everyone? I contemplate this A. L. O. T. -- Type A style! Wrestle.

I want Molly, Mack and Miller to be known by others as children that are compassionate for others. I want them to be known as the "kids that can play it forward". I pray that every day for my kids - I ask God to help them make good, Godly choices that they can play forward and see how it affects themselves and others around them. What are ways that John and I can facilitate that?... Wrestle.

There is so much about life that I have contemplated lately - not just because Miller was born, but because I've actually HAD time TO think (thank you midnight feedings!)! God has revealed things in myself that I need to work on in order to be all that He has called me to be!

So, if God's called me to be a stay at home mom/wife, I want to do it well! I want to be known as a mother of 3 kids, not 1... a woman of integrity... who is generous... yet, somewhat neurotic and type-A - but not so much that my kids wish I take meds!... and I want to be a woman of compassion so my kids have a good example to follow. I have alot of work to do - but I'm believing that God's called me to these things for a reason. ;o)