Going home to see the family, friends, and loved ones from VA...
Please send me an email to let me know if you will be available to hang out!
I'm looking forward to some serious time w/ my FRIIIANNNDS! ... AND FAAMMMM!
My littlest sister is having her bridal (!) shower that weekend.
Side note: When did my "littlest" sister stop wearing diapers?? Humm? Weird?
Can't wait to hear from you people! ...provided you are still out there given my recent blog hiatus?
(AKA - tax season, life, stepmom-ville, etc.)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Mailing a "magazine"...
Yesterday morning at the "Pack and Mail" store (on the corner near my office), the lady in line in front of me wanted to mail a "magazine"...
The guy behind the counter looked at her and said the normal "mail" schpeel: " Is there anything hazardous, fragile, liquid, yadda yadda yadda?"
The lady said, "Umm well. I'm not sure"
The guy said, "well what are you trying to mail"
Lady: "a magazine"
Guy: "What kindddd of magazine" (b/c the package was the size of an envelope and lumpy?)
Lady: "well, an empty one."
Guy: "ummm, you mean a MAGAZINE FOR A GUN?"
Lady: "yes, but I SAIDDD IT WAS EMPTY???"
Guy: "Maam by federal law we can't mail any guns or PARTS of guns for FedEx OR the USPS... I'll loose my license"
Lady: WELLLLLL I SHOULD HAVE JUST LIEDDDDDDDDDD ABOUT IT....
^&%*, $^%$^%m, @#(*& ... Expletives the wholllle way OUT the door..
^&%*, $^%$^%m, @#(*& ... Expletives the wholllle way OUT the door..
The KICKER -- it was 9:10am!
What a way to start the day?....
Poor guy got cussed out doing his job and I was expecting to get shot on the way OUT the door!
A magazine? Seemed harmless enough? RIght?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Heaven, 70 degree weather, and a harpist...
While running tonight with Zayleigh, we came to the conclusion that "our" mansion in heaven will be on a beautiful beach where the breeze is always blowing and its always mid 70 to low 80 degree weather.
We took a vote - it was unanimous - God made a note in His big book.
And after some additional thought, I've decided if this guy above (from our recent Ireland trip) lives "next door", I'm ok with that. yes, he's playing a harp. yes, it is on the side of a cliff. yes, he looks like one of the guys from Phish. yes, he can be my "neighbor" in heaven - its the least I can do??
MY TO DO LIST:
Go for run... CHECK!
Tell God where I want my mansion in heaven... CHECK!
Decide about the 'neighbor' situation... CHECK!
Sleep deprivation... CHECK!
What a productive day, E*!
(patting self on back.)
:-)
Friday, March 6, 2009
Stepmom of the Year...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Just for the record, I am officially nominating myself for Stepmom of the Year! Yes, I know its amazing I haven't been nominated before now?...
Pleaseeee hold the applause!
Tonight, (with almost 57 hours of work under my belt this week), I pulled in the driveway to a husband who was smoking a cigar on the front step (never a good sign, people - N.E.V.E.R.), a dog that is howling to be "let out", a daughter who is complaining her stomach hurts, and a son who just wanted to watch TV until his brain turned to mush.
Instead of taking offense (insert New Years Resolution here), I decided that regardless of everyone else, I had a bottle (or 2) of red wine waiting to be consumed.
I opened the door - as jovial as my tired self could muster... and made a huge scene!!! I exclaimed(!) how happy(!) I was to see each of their cute(!) (yet-- uninviting) faces and boldly exclaimed with the most cheerleader voice I could find from 1-9-9-3 -- "Lets get some dinner!!!!" (thinking to myself, "dinner, like I want to FREAKIN' make DINNER!!!?? UGG!")
I would love to report that this was the "magic trick"... instead of coarse, daughter was rolling around on the sofa in "pain" and Mack in his blurry eyed state could only find the energy to grunt. What he said or meant via the grunt didn't amount to a hill of beans to me.
Painful. Duanting. Grunt from E*.
After a quick "prayer" under my breathe, I got a few things together for dinner and before the complaining got to a level that would have forced said bottles of wine to become empty even MORE QUICKLY, the thought came to me. (I like to think of it as an epiphany)...
Here's how it went down....
Molly is flailing in her seat at the table. (SIGH)
Mack is at the island complaining that the mac and cheese is too "watery"... (SIGH!)
E* is throwing back the bottle of wine to her head like a wine-o in front of the children... (SIGH)...
KIDDINGGGGG... JUSTTT KIDDING about the wine part, however, not the kids.
I will say that I did consume a glass during the whole ordeal!
Conversation:
ME*... here's the deal, you eat all your dinner we will take a road trip tonight
Molly - What?
Mack... HUH?
Me*... Eat all your dinner, without another word of complaining, and we will take a family trip to (drum roll please) DUNKIN' DONUTS!
Without skipping a beat...
Molly... This food is great!
Mack... I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE...
E*... 2nd glass of wine!... might I say... IN PEACE!
Dunkin Donuts on a Friday night = BEST STEPMOM OF THE YEAR AWARD!
Thank you very much.
Feel free to call with questions.
Just for the record, I am officially nominating myself for Stepmom of the Year! Yes, I know its amazing I haven't been nominated before now?...
Pleaseeee hold the applause!
Tonight, (with almost 57 hours of work under my belt this week), I pulled in the driveway to a husband who was smoking a cigar on the front step (never a good sign, people - N.E.V.E.R.), a dog that is howling to be "let out", a daughter who is complaining her stomach hurts, and a son who just wanted to watch TV until his brain turned to mush.
Instead of taking offense (insert New Years Resolution here), I decided that regardless of everyone else, I had a bottle (or 2) of red wine waiting to be consumed.
I opened the door - as jovial as my tired self could muster... and made a huge scene!!! I exclaimed(!) how happy(!) I was to see each of their cute(!) (yet-- uninviting) faces and boldly exclaimed with the most cheerleader voice I could find from 1-9-9-3 -- "Lets get some dinner!!!!" (thinking to myself, "dinner, like I want to FREAKIN' make DINNER!!!?? UGG!")
I would love to report that this was the "magic trick"... instead of coarse, daughter was rolling around on the sofa in "pain" and Mack in his blurry eyed state could only find the energy to grunt. What he said or meant via the grunt didn't amount to a hill of beans to me.
Painful. Duanting. Grunt from E*.
After a quick "prayer" under my breathe, I got a few things together for dinner and before the complaining got to a level that would have forced said bottles of wine to become empty even MORE QUICKLY, the thought came to me. (I like to think of it as an epiphany)...
Here's how it went down....
Molly is flailing in her seat at the table. (SIGH)
Mack is at the island complaining that the mac and cheese is too "watery"... (SIGH!)
E* is throwing back the bottle of wine to her head like a wine-o in front of the children... (SIGH)...
KIDDINGGGGG... JUSTTT KIDDING about the wine part, however, not the kids.
I will say that I did consume a glass during the whole ordeal!
Conversation:
ME*... here's the deal, you eat all your dinner we will take a road trip tonight
Molly - What?
Mack... HUH?
Me*... Eat all your dinner, without another word of complaining, and we will take a family trip to (drum roll please) DUNKIN' DONUTS!
Without skipping a beat...
Molly... This food is great!
Mack... I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE...
E*... 2nd glass of wine!... might I say... IN PEACE!
Dunkin Donuts on a Friday night = BEST STEPMOM OF THE YEAR AWARD!
Thank you very much.
Feel free to call with questions.
Molly's at it again...
On Weds. night, the kids were over for dinner.
Molly pointed to a new picture on the fridge and said, “who’s baby is that?” I told her it was Abigail, Rhonda’s baby. “When are YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU going to have a baby?” (apparently, “beating around the bush” is no longer necessary regarding this topic?)
Me: Molly, we’ve had this discussion before.
Molly: Yes, and you always tell me that you aren’t ready.
Me: Molly, Daddy and I aren’t ready for babies. Maybe you need to have this discussion with Daddy… you always have it with me – and apparently you aren’t hearing me?
Molly: Well, YOURRRRRRRRRRRRRR the one who is going to haveeee IT, NOT HIM!
Me: Um, Molly, technically your right. But…
Molly: E! STOP! I knowwww how babies are made – Daddy does not CARRY the baby, YOU do!
Me: Dumbfounded and not wanting to head down the path that seems inevitable??... Not knowing what else to do— I shout and point to the living room: “LOOK A DEER!” And I took off for the stairs.
Until next time!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Sharing by John and Zayleigh...
When I got home tonight the following conversation occurred...
John: Molly called and she is the "Ranger of the Week" at school.
Me: Oh!
John: Apparently, she wants to "share" me again.
Me: Hummm.
John: Um, andddd... she wants to share Zayleigh too.
Me: to myself (yep, I was waiting for that!)
Over the last 3 years at school, Molly or Mack has "shared" their dad and Zayleigh.
It cracks me up b/c in years past, they have known how much Zayleigh and their dad had a love/hate relationship (mostly hate!). They knew that it was a real sacrifice for daddy to take off work and drive the dog (who is KNOWN for getting car sick) to share for an hour.
This year, I'm happy to report, is different.
Tonight John looked at Zayleigh and said in the funny voice we use to talk to her : "Thats right, Zayel, you and me got some sharin' to do!"
I realize how cheesey this sounds and my husband would cringe that I'm admitting to any of this, but I dont care. I'm so incredibly grateful that I went to Africa on soooo many levels - but I have to say that this one reason... the one about how my husband grew to "tolerate" "MY" dog is definitely up there with some of the greatest things that came from my trip - at least in terms of living under the same roof!
I'm off to get Miss Zayleigh ready for the big "show"! :-)
John: Molly called and she is the "Ranger of the Week" at school.
Me: Oh!
John: Apparently, she wants to "share" me again.
Me: Hummm.
John: Um, andddd... she wants to share Zayleigh too.
Me: to myself (yep, I was waiting for that!)
Over the last 3 years at school, Molly or Mack has "shared" their dad and Zayleigh.
It cracks me up b/c in years past, they have known how much Zayleigh and their dad had a love/hate relationship (mostly hate!). They knew that it was a real sacrifice for daddy to take off work and drive the dog (who is KNOWN for getting car sick) to share for an hour.
This year, I'm happy to report, is different.
Tonight John looked at Zayleigh and said in the funny voice we use to talk to her : "Thats right, Zayel, you and me got some sharin' to do!"
I realize how cheesey this sounds and my husband would cringe that I'm admitting to any of this, but I dont care. I'm so incredibly grateful that I went to Africa on soooo many levels - but I have to say that this one reason... the one about how my husband grew to "tolerate" "MY" dog is definitely up there with some of the greatest things that came from my trip - at least in terms of living under the same roof!
I'm off to get Miss Zayleigh ready for the big "show"! :-)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Daffodil Rescue...
This morning I slept in like a champion... (on clean sheets, I might add - which I get maddd bonus points for - thank you very much!)
When I woke up, I went downstairs, started up the coffee, and took Zayleigh out for the ole' morning "routine". Talk about C.O.L.D. and W.E.T... Yuck.
When I got back in the house, I looked out over the sink to the backyard and saw them...
Two little daffodils face down from the rain, in the cold, wet dirt.
With the determination of a mother chasing her child who is running towards the road, I immediately ran outside to the backyard and "rescued" them. My sweet daffodils now have a happy, dry, and cozy home in an old antique glass medicine jar near my kitchen sink.
Nothing like a little touch of spring on a cold, rainy day... ESPECIALLY after sleeping in on CLEAN sheets!
Priceless!
When I woke up, I went downstairs, started up the coffee, and took Zayleigh out for the ole' morning "routine". Talk about C.O.L.D. and W.E.T... Yuck.
When I got back in the house, I looked out over the sink to the backyard and saw them...
Two little daffodils face down from the rain, in the cold, wet dirt.
With the determination of a mother chasing her child who is running towards the road, I immediately ran outside to the backyard and "rescued" them. My sweet daffodils now have a happy, dry, and cozy home in an old antique glass medicine jar near my kitchen sink.
Nothing like a little touch of spring on a cold, rainy day... ESPECIALLY after sleeping in on CLEAN sheets!
Priceless!
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