Stepmom of the Year...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Just for the record, I am officially nominating myself for Stepmom of the Year! Yes, I know its amazing I haven't been nominated before now?...

Pleaseeee hold the applause!

Tonight, (with almost 57 hours of work under my belt this week), I pulled in the driveway to a husband who was smoking a cigar on the front step (never a good sign, people - N.E.V.E.R.), a dog that is howling to be "let out", a daughter who is complaining her stomach hurts, and a son who just wanted to watch TV until his brain turned to mush.

Instead of taking offense (insert New Years Resolution here), I decided that regardless of everyone else, I had a bottle (or 2) of red wine waiting to be consumed.

I opened the door - as jovial as my tired self could muster... and made a huge scene!!! I exclaimed(!) how happy(!) I was to see each of their cute(!) (yet-- uninviting) faces and boldly exclaimed with the most cheerleader voice I could find from 1-9-9-3 -- "Lets get some dinner!!!!" (thinking to myself, "dinner, like I want to FREAKIN' make DINNER!!!?? UGG!")

I would love to report that this was the "magic trick"... instead of coarse, daughter was rolling around on the sofa in "pain" and Mack in his blurry eyed state could only find the energy to grunt. What he said or meant via the grunt didn't amount to a hill of beans to me.

Painful. Duanting. Grunt from E*.

After a quick "prayer" under my breathe, I got a few things together for dinner and before the complaining got to a level that would have forced said bottles of wine to become empty even MORE QUICKLY, the thought came to me. (I like to think of it as an epiphany)...

Here's how it went down....

Molly is flailing in her seat at the table. (SIGH)
Mack is at the island complaining that the mac and cheese is too "watery"... (SIGH!)
E* is throwing back the bottle of wine to her head like a wine-o in front of the children... (SIGH)...

KIDDINGGGGG... JUSTTT KIDDING about the wine part, however, not the kids.
I will say that I did consume a glass during the whole ordeal!

Conversation:

ME*... here's the deal, you eat all your dinner we will take a road trip tonight
Molly - What?
Mack... HUH?
Me*... Eat all your dinner, without another word of complaining, and we will take a family trip to (drum roll please) DUNKIN' DONUTS!

Without skipping a beat...

Molly... This food is great!
Mack... I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE...
E*... 2nd glass of wine!... might I say... IN PEACE!

Dunkin Donuts on a Friday night = BEST STEPMOM OF THE YEAR AWARD!
Thank you very much.
Feel free to call with questions.