My husband told me something several years ago that I have
replayed over and over again in my mind.
He said: Healthy people establish and maintain boundaries in ALL relationships!
The older I get, the more I want to be known as a healthy, stable person. And the more I live and love on others, the more I agree with my husbands statement.
In order for me to be a healthy, stable person, I need to have healthy relationships with the people in my life.
Recently, I established some very structured and well defined boundaries with a person in my life that (at times) has caused me and my marriage pain and heartache. Unfortunately, I’ve found that when this one “unhealthy” relationship isn’t going particularly “well”, it causes my relationships with others (at times) to be less than “healthy” too!
I have prayed, I have fasted, and I have prayed some more about this – but after constantly feeling run over, taken advantage of, and often times just flat out angry, I feel like the time has come to set firm boundaries in place.
Last night in my quiet time, I prayed about how those boundaries were established and about the maintenance of those boundaries going forward. During my time with the Lord, I was reminded of my role as the wife and mother of my household.
He said: Healthy people establish and maintain boundaries in ALL relationships!
The older I get, the more I want to be known as a healthy, stable person. And the more I live and love on others, the more I agree with my husbands statement.
In order for me to be a healthy, stable person, I need to have healthy relationships with the people in my life.
Recently, I established some very structured and well defined boundaries with a person in my life that (at times) has caused me and my marriage pain and heartache. Unfortunately, I’ve found that when this one “unhealthy” relationship isn’t going particularly “well”, it causes my relationships with others (at times) to be less than “healthy” too!
I have prayed, I have fasted, and I have prayed some more about this – but after constantly feeling run over, taken advantage of, and often times just flat out angry, I feel like the time has come to set firm boundaries in place.
Last night in my quiet time, I prayed about how those boundaries were established and about the maintenance of those boundaries going forward. During my time with the Lord, I was reminded of my role as the wife and mother of my household.
God led me to Proverbs 31 – Verses 26-27:
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
The more I meditated over these verses, the more I felt like God was releasing me from maintaining this particular relationship without boundaries. Given the nature of this “unhealthy” relationship, I have often times lost sight of God’s call on my life as the wife and mother of my home.
The Word says that MY(!) JOB is to speak wisdom with faithful instructions on my tongue (not rude or ugly things about others) AND that I need to be using MY(!) energies to watch over the affairs of MY(!) household - NOT(!) sitting idly worrying about a relationship with someone that isn’t set up to be “healthy” anyway??? (Regretfully, I have done this for wayyyyyy too many hours, months, and years to count!)
For the sake of me and my household, boundaries are a NECESSITY(!) in order to be the healthy and stable woman that ultimately God has Willed for my life!
Honestly, I should have set up these boundaries long ago – my feelings of heartache, bitterness, and feeling defeated shouldn’t have gotten to the levels that they did. But today, I’m HAPPY(!) because I feel like I finally did the right thing! And in my heart, its better late than never because I’m ready to continue my journey in striving for the Proverbs 31 wife and mother!
Two of my New Years resolutions were to “recognize my patterns” and to “choose not to take things personally”. I believe that by establishing these boundaries I’m well on my way to fulfilling these goals!
For the sake of me and my household, boundaries are a NECESSITY(!) in order to be the healthy and stable woman that ultimately God has Willed for my life!
Honestly, I should have set up these boundaries long ago – my feelings of heartache, bitterness, and feeling defeated shouldn’t have gotten to the levels that they did. But today, I’m HAPPY(!) because I feel like I finally did the right thing! And in my heart, its better late than never because I’m ready to continue my journey in striving for the Proverbs 31 wife and mother!
Two of my New Years resolutions were to “recognize my patterns” and to “choose not to take things personally”. I believe that by establishing these boundaries I’m well on my way to fulfilling these goals!
SOoOoOoO:
Yay GOD! Yay ME! Yay for BOUNDARIES! Yay for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!!
And ultimately, YAAAYYYY for the wisdom of my rockin’ (and very handsome) HUSBAND!!!!!!
Yay GOD! Yay ME! Yay for BOUNDARIES! Yay for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!!
And ultimately, YAAAYYYY for the wisdom of my rockin’ (and very handsome) HUSBAND!!!!!!
ANNNNDDDD on a very, "side" note: I’m having a fabulous hair day!
:-) Ohhhh Lucky me!
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